Born to be Mild or Wild
The Innate Temperament of Children
What determines how a child will turn out? Is it their environment, or is it something that is predetermined at birth? In his book, “The Difficult Child,” Dr. Turecki discusses the innate temperament of children and its effects on their development. He argues that temperament is something that is genetically determined and cannot be changed by environmental factors. However, he does acknowledge the importance of acceptance and understanding in helping children to reach their full potential.
There are three main temperament styles that Dr. Turecki discusses in his book: the easy child, the difficult child, and the average child. The easy child is laid-back and adaptable, while the difficult child is more challenging to parent and can be quite demanding. The average child falls somewhere in between these two extremes.
In fact, there are a total of 9 underlying temperament characteristics that we all have.
level of activity
intensity of emotions
sensitivity to stimuli
approach or withdrawal
gregariousness or shyness
While it is true that our environment can influence how these characteristics play out, they are largely determined by our genes. For example, a highly active child may be drawn to sports, and develop a positive relationship with exercise. On the other hand, they might become disruptive or destructive if their temperament is not taken into consideration.
Parents need to understand that temperament cannot be changed in any way by their actions or attitudes towards the child. Children will grow up to have their own individual personalities regardless of what their parents do or think. However, temperament can make parenting more challenging in certain cases, and it is important for us to understand how these traits are manifested in our children so that we can respond appropriately.
Quote from the book: “The temperament of a child is often one of the most difficult things for any parent to accept. We all want our children to be happy, well-adjusted individuals who make us proud. However, temperament is something that’s innate and cannot be changed.”
No matter which temperament style a child has, it is important for parents to be accepting and understanding. This will help the child to feel safe and secure and will encourage them to explore their abilities and strengths. It is also important for parents not to label their children based on their temperament. Doing so can limit a child’s potential and make them feel like they have to live up to the label that has been given to them.
So, what does all of this mean for you as a parent? By recognizing a child’s temperament, parents can be more accepting, and better equipped to adapt their parenting style in order to meet the child’s needs. You can’t change their innate characteristics no matter how hard you try (or don’t try). It means that you have to accept your child for who they are. But, if you learn about these tendencies and work with them instead of against them, you will be able to help them grow into the best possible version of themselves. And we want to help! Our online masterclass delves into temperament. By accepting your child for who they are and helping them thrive in spite of any challenges they may face. Join us to learn more about how you can turn your “problem child” into a successful individual
This will help children reach their full potential, regardless of whether they are born to be mild or wild.