Teens and Sex
Recently I’ve been reading about mothers struggling with their mid-teens becoming sexually active. It is a neverending story. From one mother to another, we all wish our children could stay young and innocent forever. But the fact is, as our children enter their teenage years, they naturally begin to explore their independence and sexual identity.
Many mothers find themselves struggling with how much freedom to give their teens, and when to start drawing boundaries. It’s a difficult balancing act, because while we want our children to be able to make their own decisions, we also don’t want them making choices that could potentially harm them or put them in danger.
One of the biggest challenges for mothers is dealing with the separation that occurs during the teen years. Teens naturally want to push away from their parents and establish their own identities. This can lead to conflict
So what do we do when our 15-year-old is dating and your intuition tells you that she may become sexually active. This is such an instinctive drive of human nature and it takes such self-control. Gone are the days when young girls (mostly) wait until the wedding night to consume the marriage. Then it seems like it was college when young adults first engaged in intimacy. Now it seems like it is high school.
Weighing in on sexual activity at such a young age, there are many pros and cons. On one hand, sexual activity can be viewed as a positive experience if it is consensual and both parties are enjoying it. It can help young people learn about their own bodies and strengthen their sexual relationships in the future.
On the other hand, sexual activity at a young age can also have negative consequences. Young people may not be emotionally or physically ready for sexual activity, which can lead to emotional distress and health problems. There is also the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancies. Three big components to teach our teens about.
I’ve been reading about how confusing it is for mothers. If kids are going to do it regardless, do we allow it in the safety of our home? Are we strict about bedroom doors being kept open? Do we take our young teens to health providers for contraception? Do we get condoms for our teen sons?? Will all of this be condoning the behavior that we know is so complicated, emotional, and physically intense?
I do have a lot of questions but fewer answers.
So, what’s a mother to do? It can be tough to navigate these waters, but ultimately it comes down to communicating with your teen and setting boundaries that you feel comfortable with. It’s important to remember that every family is different, so what works for one may not work for another. The most important thing is that you are open and honest with your child, and let them know that you are there for them no matter what.
Every family has to struggle with their own values regarding this topic. Many of us never had this type of open communication with our own families of origin. I know I didn’t. It left lots of guilt and shame surrounding the topic of intimacy.
Do we treat the girls the same way as we treat the boys? If we get our girls on contraception do we buy condoms for the teen boy?
The basic concept that I keep seeing is that this drive for intimacy, for being sexually attracted to others is an inner drive that we are all born with. There is no changing the basic physiology of the way our bodies work.
What are your thoughts? Please share in the comments below.
sexual activity, teenagers, separation, motherhood, parenting, sexual health, sexually transmitted infections, STIs, contraception, condom