Your Child’s Misbehavior Is Not Due to Poor Parenting Skills.
Do you have a child who is constantly misbehaving? If so, you are not alone. Many parents struggle with children who act out and seem to be deliberately trying to make their lives difficult. It can be incredibly frustrating and stressful trying to figure out what is wrong and how to make it better. In this blog post, we will explore the idea that a child’s misbehavior may not actually be due to poor parenting skills, but instead may be due to a lack of nurturing needs being met.
It’s easy to feel like a bad parent when your child is misbehaving. You may start to wonder if you’re doing something wrong, or if you’re just not cut out for this whole parenting thing. But before you go blaming yourself, know this: a child’s misbehavior is NOT due to poor parenting skills. So don’t beat yourself up – it’s not helpful and it won’t make your child behave any better! Instead, focus on using some positive parenting techniques to help manage your child’s behavior and above all understand the underlying reason behind the misbehavior. According to Rudolf Dreikurs, an early child development expert, author of Children: The Challenge, Dreikurs discusses two main basic needs that all children have:
1 -The need to feel powerful.
2- The need to belong.
So how does a child feel powerful in their small world? How do you make your toddler feel powerful? After all, he is just a toddler. Here are three ways you can help your child feel powerful and supported in order to boost their self-esteem.
- Allow your child to choose between two outfits to wear.
- Your child should feed himself as soon as this is feasible.
- Never do for your child what they can do for themselves.
Being able to do age-appropriate tasks such as feeding themselves, exploring their environment, and making choices will increase their sense of power. Giving the child a sense of control will help them to feel powerful in their small world, which can decrease misbehavior. Of course, at different ages, there will be different age-appropriate choices that the child will be able to perform.
When parenting it is important to build your child up with positive words, attention, patience, and listening skills in order to fulfill their needs for nurturing. Positive parenting will help the child feel loved and cared for so that they can grow into an emotionally healthy adult. When these needs are not being met, it often leads to misbehavior and acting out.
It is important as a parent to look at all the possible reasons for your child’s misbehavior, instead of just blaming parenting skills. When we understand why our children are misbehaving, it becomes easier to find solutions and meet their needs. Meeting a child’s needs is not always easy, but it is worth the effort!
According to Dreikurs, the basic needs we all have can be boiled down to two things- a need to feel like we belong and a need to feel powerful. Children’s needs are not different than our basic human needs, they just express them in different ways. And it all happens unconsciously. If you want to learn more about how you can apply these principles in your own life, join my online masterclass where I’ll go into detail about each of these concepts and more. You’ll also get access to a private Facebook group where you can ask questions and get feedback from me and other members of the community. Can’t wait to see you there!