Keeping Kids Safe From Porn
How and when do I talk to my child about P-O-R-N?
Our children are spending more time than ever on the computer. For school, for entertainment, it is becoming part of life. Learning about porn can help kids stay safe from potential dangers online. It’s important for kids to know about porn because it is a part of our society today.
But how do I, as a parent, explain what pornography is? Do I have to? This is a subject that can be difficult for children to understand. Furthermore, it is also uncomfortable for us as parents to talk about. I know it was for me. We want our children to have a safe and protective view of their potential adult life. This is why talking about sensitive topics often will make it easier to approach this topic of pornography when the time is right.
Of course, before broaching the topic of pornography, your child needs to know the basic concepts of sexual intercourse. Once this conversation has been initiated, remind them that they can come to you with any questions that they may have in the future.
As you continue these sensitive conversations (you can also call them health conversations), or during a time that you see them on the computer, start the conversation by asking the simple question:
“Do you know what pornography is? That’s a big adult topic, but I want to make sure you stay safe.”
Your tween may have all sorts of responses for you, from, “Yeah, I know all about that” to “What’s that?”
Step 1 – Start with simple words to explain to young children what porn is. You can add or omit any of the information below based on your child’s age.
“Sometimes you might find private pictures or movies of adults doing private things (or if your child is older, you can say, ‘having sex’) together online. They may be naked, and it may look like they are hurting each other. We call this porn or pornography.”
Let’s suppose your child asks the proverbial question, “Why is porn bad?”
Explain that porn is a fictional portrayal of sex and is not representative of real life.
Discuss the dangers of porn, such as unrealistic body image expectations and unsafe sexual practices, and your family’s value surrounding this topic or sex and sharing your body in this way.
Step 2 – Let your child know how to behave when they find porn.
“I want you to look away and find someone you trust right away and let them know that you saw porn online.”
Remind your child that they won’t get in trouble if they find porn online. We, adults, are here to protect them.
Step 3 – Keep your child safe from porn.
Take real-life opportunities and mention the topic of porn every couple of months. You’ll be surprised what children remember or how they view this information at different ages.
It’s not easy. Our society is changing so fast, and our children are being exposed to these adult topics at earlier ages than we did. Consider installing software filters on the computers that your child has access to.
If you as a parent need support during these conversations, feel free to send me an email at: info@healthychats.com. I’m also available to offer guidelines for the puberty conversation with both girls and boys. Our Healthy Chats for Tweens and Parents seminar is available as an online course.
As parents, we need to educate ourselves and help keep our children safe. It does take a village. Allow me to be part of your village.
